Staff Meeting

We had a staff meeting this past week that was more interesting than the pastor intended, I'm sure. After delineating the mundane facts, including that we need to do staff performance evaluations with him before the end of the year, and that anyone with holidays outstanding needs to take them by December 31, he asked if there was any other business.

The secretary mentioned her concern that the homeless who come for sandwiches have been getting more and more demanding lately. She highlighted a couple of the usual suspects, and the cook complained that they were acting like we were a restaurant while showing up drunk or high, obviously not spending their money on food. The pastor laid down the ground rules and moved on to review the minutes from the last meeting to see if there was anything outstanding there.

He mentioned a property issue: "The crack is still in the confessional."

The secretary exclaimed in a horrified tone of voice: "CRACK COCAINE?!"

She obviously was still thinking about the last conversation, and blurred the new topic with the old. Well, three of us around the table completely lost it. She was embarrassed and started doing one of those crying laughs, the cook and I couldn't look at each other because we were absolutely erupting but trying (in vain) to control our amusement, and the business manager was barely able to keep it together as the pastor carried on and asked her to report on something, completely oblivious to the hilarity and confusion that had just occurred.

I kept thinking of the cook, Mrs. Doyle on Father Ted who explained that her cake was unique because there was cocaine in it... err, not cocaine, "what am I on about," but raisins.

I'll say one thing for this church ... it's never dull.