The Night Something Snapped

I really can't say if it was the wacky day I had at school, or if it was the high, piercing winds rattling my balcony door, or if it was the fact that the winds resulted in that song getting stuck in my head: "The weather outside is frightful...", or if it was the decadent chocolate cake I ordered with my takeout chicken tonight, but something inside me snapped.

I just finished decorating my whole apartment for Christmas.

I found an all-Christmas Internet radio station to set the mood, I located my manger and wreath, I set up my Christmas tree and decorated it with balls bought and acquired last year. I moved my collection of plants to get at the windows and hung up my acquired strings of lights, and just over an hour and a half later, voila. It's Christmas at my place. (As a brief digression, even though I work at a church, I found last year that Christmas didn't feel real. I guess I put so much time and effort into organizing Advent and Christmas for everyone else, and I was working rather than worshipping during the Christmas masses, Christmas just missed me. I did have one very fleeting moment of recognition of it being Christmas and not just a regular Sunday -- I was walking home just after midnight Mass got underway so I could get a few hours of sleep before I was due back at 7am. The snow was lightly falling and it felt like I was the only person around for miles. It's very difficult to describe what I was experiencing, but it was so peaceful and comforting. In that brief moment, I felt a spiritual acknowledgement of the graces of Christ and Christmas, but sadly, it was short-lived. I hope to do better this year.)

As I said, I don't know what caused my brain to snap tonight, but I do have to admit that the apartment feels more cozy tonight, and I am feeling a lot better than I was.