Tidbits

Still no computer. I'm not a happy camper.

I was recently contacted by the theological school I graduated from, asking me what things they should have taught me before I engaged in full-time ministry. Sadly, I had a list of these points some months ago that has since been lost, so I'm trying to rebuild it.

- How to deal with difficult people, including how to inform your crazy parishioners you can't (and won't!) date them, how to get rid of the needy ones who monopolize your time, how to deal with the ones who tell you how to do your job, how to deal with coworkers and employers without losing your cool, etc. How to deal with ecumenical questions about when your ordination is, and a lesson in not bursting out laughing when a Catholic who should know better asks, "Do you live in the rectory?" would have, in retrospect, been helpful.

- I once took an invaluable course called "A Ministry of Administration" with a Protestant group. I wish I had understood more how important this would be at the time. No one ever taught me budgeting from scratch, or how to keep proper church records, what needs to be kept, what needs to be shredded, etc. I would have appreciated learning about privacy and confidentiality laws without having to call the government, and how to run committee meetings and keep control of people who need managing in those settings.

- I wish someone had warned me about the bizarre questions you will get in interviews, such as "Tell me about your relationship with Jesus" and my favourite, "Someone told me you could handle 'X' minority group. Can you?"

- A list of resources for practical things like planning youth ministry would have been wonderful. It took me much too much time to locate the Youth Spirit series through a friend. A bibliography would have cut down some of the time and travel involved in planning a program from scratch. Perhaps even having students put together such a program would help as part of a course.

- How to handle 12, 13 and 14 year-old children who haven't received sacraments but who are too young for the RCIA.

- I attended a dinner last night where a woman suddenly fell gravely ill and unconscious. All of the ministers stood there looking on with mouths agape. Surely this happens in our congregations enough that we should have a plan of action! Let's have a handy wallet-sized list to facilitate in case you're a person who doesn't do emergencies well: call an ambulance, administer rites if necessary and keep everybody else quiet and out of the way of the emergency personnel.

What am I missing? I know there are other things.